Friday, August 25, 2006

Ok, Just To Be Curmudgeonly For A Second...

I will admit that I got off on this topic because I was reading Sheila's blog, where she was discussing an annoying and stupid teacher. Related, but not really the same, but still.



Ready to get told to get off my damn lawn?



Ok.



Since when did it become the standard for kids to need a $150 graphing calculator for seventh grade math?



As far as I remember, a calculator exists to provide people who are not themselves able to perform mathematical calculations a tool with which they can perform up to the standard of those who can, in fact, do math.



For example, I cause awe and amazement of varying degrees among my younger co-workers, because I can calculate things like tips, sales tax, price, and total weight of something, in my head.



This is because when I went to school - and this wasn't THAT long ago - I was forced to learn how to actually perform mathematical calculations. Now, I freely admit, calculus is utterly beyond my powers; 3F4= [a range between 1 and 7] makes no goddamn sense whatsoever, as far as I'm concerned. But I can do sales tax, no sweat. Tips? No problem. Addition? Gotcha.



You may have noticed that I do try - I'm certainly not 100%, but I try - to stick fairly closely to the actual grammatical rules of my native tongue. This is, again, because I learned this in school. It has served me well, although the fact that I have an unusually large vocabulary sometimes makes people give me funny looks.



Ask sometime, and I will tell you precisely what a borborygmus is.



But, back to my point: calculators are not being used properly. They used to be a crutch for those who were not math-enhanced, or as a convenience when dealing with extremely advanced math, usually by people who can in fact perform the calculations on paper but basically don't want to take the time.



Now, instead, they are being used as a prop for kids, so they don't have to learn maths at all; no addition, no subtraction, no long OR short division, no multiplication, no fractions, no algebra, no geometry, nothing. "Use this, because you are too stupid to add."



I cannot convince myself that this is where our schools ought to be going. When I was a child, I had to sit in front of the multiplication tables for simply AGES until I could remember them; I had to learn how exponents worked; I had to learn how to factor a variable; I had to learn how to graph an equation BY HAND, and I had to learn how to calculate things like the hypotenuse of a right triangle.



Now, "How do you find the hypotenuse of a right triangle" actually has its own built-in function on a calculator, I'd bet.



This is pathetic. No wonder kids from India and Japan are taking all the tech jobs; they maybe need some help with English, but they have math skills that are spot-on. Our kids can't add without a machine holding their hands.



OMGWTF@ the handcart, and how fast it is going.



For the record, solving for the hypotenuse (longest side) of a right triangle (one with a 90 degree, "square" corner) is very easy.



Say we know side 1=4, and side 2=3.



Right. We take side 1, and "square" it, by multiplying it by itself. That would be 4 times 4 = 16.

Then we do the same to side 2: 3 times 3 = 9.

With me so far?

Add the two. The sum, 25, is the square of the length of the hypotenuse.



So, we need to find the square ROOT (!) of the sum: 25 / 5 = 5.



Thus, the length of the longest side of that triangle is 5.



That's not too friggin' hard for a 15-year-old. It's certainly not too hard for me. It shouldn't be too hard for anyone over the age of 12. But yet, we're having our kids use calculators, even for this.



How stupid do we really need to get, in this country? I submit to you that we have enough stupid already, and in fact need to  quit producing quite so much of it.



And while I'm at it: GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN, YOU FREELOADING KIDS!



[*Edited to add: bolding and italicization, which I inexplicably forgot.*]

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