The True Story Of The Cowardly Lion.

You may remember the old nursery tale of the lion raised as a sheep, who, when danger struck, realized his true nature as a lion and saved the day, to the immense gratitude of the sheep.

Yeah.

Most people, not just here, but in the world, are sheep. They are raised as sheep, taught to believe they're sheep, and frown violently on anything un-sheeplike.

The operative word there is "most."

Some people are wolves, some are sheepdogs, and some...

...Well, some are lions.

Now before I spell things right out, I want to tell you the true story of the Cowardly Lion.

Note before I begin that this story IS NOT about me. I served in the 82nd Airborne, and was in Kosovo, but I've never been to Iraq, and would rather not, if I had a choice.

Despite the name, there wasn't any cowardice in my friend - let's call him "Joe," because he probably wouldn't appreciate my reference otherwise - or in his upbringing. He was brought up in a nice, suburban, middle-class family, good, solid left-wing moonbats, as seems to be all the rage these days.

He was by all accounts, a nice, respectful young man; he got good grades in school, did enough after-school crap to stay with the pack but not get a lot of attention, and generally behaved like a good sheepie, like his parents before him.

Then he turned 18.

You may remember that year; that was 2001. In September of that year, some very crazy, very bad people did something so awful that even now, five and a half years later, people are still trying to pretend it didn't happen, or was someone else's fault.

His parents ranted about how our government had failed, blah blah. But Joe found within himself some very un-sheeplike urges.

And Joe joined the Army. Not only that, Joe joined as an infantry ground-pounder; the very antithesis of everything his parents believed. They were, unquestionably, shocked by this demonstration of non-sheepieness.

And when 2003 came rolling around, Joe got himself sent to Iraq.

Iraq is violent. This is true. Iraq also has created casualties among our soldiers. While this is true, the news media loves to make much of the numbers, without bothering to note - just for comparison - that there have been fewer U. S. casualties in Iraq than homicides in Washington, D.C. during the same time period.

During his time in Iraq, Joe watched the news, and got more and more confused as to why the media was portraying Iraq, and the troops, in such a negative light; especially considering that he was in an extra-violent province and wasn't seeing the same things that the reporters were apparently witnessing daily.

But something else happened, while Joe was in Iraq. Joe learned self-discipline; restraint; a good bit of tolerance for the differences of others; he learned to rely on himself, and how to use his strength of will to overcome difficult situations.

Used to be, we'd call that "growing up," or maybe "becoming a man," if you want to go way back to where men were assumed to be tolerant, disciplined, and self-reliant.

But what really happened was that Joe figured out that he wasn't a sheep at all, but a lion.

A lion isn't a sheepdog.

And soon enough, his rotation was over, as was his time in the Army; he chose not to re-enlist, and went home, having served his country in honorable fashion, and acquitted himself well in said service. DD-214 stamped "Honorable" and such, he got home, and found himself in a different country than the one he'd left.

He found himself in a nation of terrified sheep, who had been trained to believe that lions are wolves, and sheepdogs are wolves, and everything that's not a sheep is a wolf.

A lion isn't a sheepdog.

A lion isn't a wolf, either.

Now Joe was home, with firsthand experience of what was really going on in Iraq. He knew that the claims of hundreds of thousands of casualties were simply not true; he knew that WMDs were found; he knew that the insurgency was coming from Iran and Syria; and he found out quickly what happens when sheep don't like something.

They ignored him.

Joe has no place at home, now. His family has reacted in ways ranging from calling him a liar to his face, despite his first-hand knowledge, to ignoring and refusing to discuss the entire situation.

Because his experiences overseas changed his outlook on the situation, he now believes that although it's unpleasant, we SHOULD BE in Iraq. His family and friends are unable to understand this. They claim the war "traumatized" him, or that he's been "brainwashed" by the military establishment.

Because they're sheep; they are unable to understand a worldview in which their nonsensical ideology simply doesn't work. They are unable to understand that all the piffle about non-violence goes out the window when bullets zing! past your ear. They are unable to understand that they managed to raise a lion instead of a sheep, and because of this, Joe has basically lost his family and the friends he had outside the military.

Joe is seriously considering joining back up, despite the great likelihood that he would get sent back to Iraq. This is because, as he told me a while back, "these folks just plain don't understand things. I gotta have someone I can talk to."

I really hope he doesn't. Because we need more of the lions to tell the world what's really going on.

There are sheep. Most people are sheep. There are wolves; those are the folks who bomb buildings just to kill a lot of sheep they don't even know.

There are sheepdogs. These are the guardians we have here at home; the cops and firemen who were going up the stairs when the WTC buildings came down. I've said before how deeply I honor them, and their sacrifice.

And then, there are lions. Our soldiers aren't all lions, although most of them at least manage sheepdog; but there are a hell of a lot of lions in the military.

And the sheep forget that they serve a purpose.

And more importantly, they forget that lions aren't sheepdogs; or, for that matter, sheep. They are LIONS.

A lion has no place in a herd of sheep.

It is a sad truth that throughout our country's history, we have treated our veterans very poorly indeed. Warfare IS traumatic; even those relatively functional when they return home have a - sometimes lengthy - period of adjustment before they are able to fake being a sheep well enough to get along in society, and some - maybe a lot - of them never really make it.

Go find a vet. It doesn't matter what war, conflict, or "police action;" go find a vet. Male or female, black, white, brown, or green; it doesn't matter. Go find a vet, and thank them.

Because it wasn't just their lives they risked in your defense; it wasn't just their jobs or their families they gave up to protect your liberty; they risked the very great possibility that they will never again HAVE a home - not a real one - with the herd, ever again, so that we would have the privilege of armchair-quarterbacking their actions.

They risked their reality, and their place in our society, to protect that society.

If you die, you're just dead. It sucks for those you leave behind, but for you, not so much.

If you lose your place in the herd forever, that is a lifetime of punishment in exchange for honorable service.

We owe the lions more than that.

Go find a vet and thank them. The sheep owe them that.

Yet Another Doubleheader, Part 2

You all know how much I love blatant hypocrisy on the part of anyone.



Really. I do.



This particular example, though, is a bit much even for me; I had a tough time believing that this was a serious news story, but apparently it is.



San Francisco State University's Associated Students group has passed a resolution banning flag burning.



You're thinking "HUH!?!"



But just wait.



It's not the U. S. flag they're worried about.



It's the HAMAS and Hezbollah flags they're concerned with. See, desecrating the U. S. flag is "protected free political expression," while desecrating the flags of known and acknowledged terrorist groups is "hateful religious intolerance" which is not ok, at all.



I'm not sure how supporting known terrorist groups is supposed to NOT be offensive to the huge, overwhelming majority of Americans, but somehow, it's ok.



I'm not sure how desecrating the United States flag is supposed to NOT be offensive to the huge, overwhelming majority of Americans, but somehow, it's ok.



Some days I wonder why we persist as a nation at letting the fucktards rule us all.

Yet Another Doubleheader, Part 1

So, today we went to the baby doc.



The good news (#1 of 2) is that the baby seems to be doing fine, and objected to the ultrasound wand being pressed against Tara's belly by kicking the crap out of the doctor. Way to go, kid! You're learning already.



The bad news is that we couldn't find out which it was, boy or girl. The doc just couldn't get a good enough look; not because the baby's shy, but just because of the way it's facing.



The good news (#2 of 2) is that he winked, nudged us, and said he's gonna get us an appointment at the medical center in Hershey, to get the super-ultra-really-wacked-out-crazy-cool ultrasound that's all like 3D and shit.



So, no news really for now, BUT, in a couple more weeks when we go to Hershey, we should hopefully have a really kickass not-at-all grainy very very clear pic of the baby to post.



And we should know which kind we're getting, blue or pink.



Ain't it grand? Remember, patience is a virtue.

Fine, Damn, I'll Do Your Stinkin' Survey...

...since I've been tagged twice for it.



Ok, let's see.



1)  Where were you 1 hour ago? Trying to survive the OMGWTF that is inventory.



2)  Who will be your next kiss? Tara is making smoochy lips at me right now. I'm guessing that's a hint.



3)  Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes. I have a wife, you know. She has girly things.



4)  When is the last time you went to the mall? WTF is this "mall" of which you speak?



5)  Are you wearing socks right now? Yes, long grey ones that seemed like a great idea in my combat boots but suck in my hikers. OMGWTF@ my huge, immovable ankle roll.



6)  When was the last time you went out of town? Define "out of town." Around here, that's a five minute drive.



7)  Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? "Been to?" HELL no. "Had a momentary urge to violate international copyright law?" I'm not saying.



8)  What was the last thing you had to drink? Water. I'm too sick right now to chance anything else.



9)  What are you wearing right now? A t-shirt and jeans. I am dead sexy, boy.



10)  Have you been in a car wash? Somehow I read this question differently than Sheila did. *pictures her in a bikini covered with soap.* *Pictures himself in a bikini covered with soap.* GOOD GOD NO.



11)  Last food you ate? PIZZA!!! And it was pretty damn good, too - I've finally got the pizza shop properly trained to manufacture a pizza the way I like it.



12)  Where were you last week on Saturday? I AM ALWAYS AT WORK.



13)  Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? There are places where clothing is sold?



14)  When was the last time you ran? I don't "run." I either charge, or chase. There is no third way.



15)  What's the last sporting event you watched?  I dunno, but I listened to the Saints pwning the Niners with violence and hatred last night. I thought, "poor Sheila. But wait, I hate both those teams. HAHA!"



16)  What is your favorite class? I have no class.



17)  Your dream vacation? OKTOBERFEST IN GERMANY. Bring on the brew.



18)  Last 3 people's houses you were in? Ummmmm... Tara's sister's, Tara's grandma's, and errrrrr.... I don't get out much. Ask me this again on Saturday.



19)  How old are your parents? My mother is old enough that she doesn't want to admit it and still passes for 45. My father died last year, at 72.



20)  Do you miss anyone? Yeah. I miss my father - who is pretty much irretrievable - and my brother, who thankfully isn't. HEY JON!! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE FOR A VISIT BIOTCH!!



21)  Last play you saw? Die Fledermaus. Definitely brings the LOL.



22)  What are your plans for today? I am going to produce as much OMGWTF as I possibly can, then sleep like the dead. Until my phone rings at 3 am.



23)  Who is the last person that commented on your page? Sheila! (In quick comments. Renee hit my blog last.)



24)  Ever go to camp? OMGWTF@ Paesano Baptist Encampment for the win!



25)  Were you an honor roll student in school? When I wasn't stoned, yes. Believe it or not, I actually was.



26)  What do you want to know about the future? I had a really good idea that Tara started yakking right through and erased completely from my consciousness. So, you are deprived of my wit and wisdom of this one. Everybody, on three, one, two, three, "THANKS TARA!!!" (Yes, she stuck her tongue out at me for that. I am considering it an invitation to be taken advantage of at a later but as yet unspecified time.)



27)  Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?  Brut aftershave. Later probably Drakkar, though.



28)  Where is your best friend located? Aside from Tara, who is the titleholder,  California. You know who you are.



29)  Do you have a tan? I have the pasty complexion of every gamer who's ever lived. And freckles. Go figure.



30)  How old do you want to be when you have kids? Somehow, I'm counting on "31" being a big winner here.



31)  Do you collect anything? Do video games and books count? I have huge quantities of both.



32)  Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over? Got hit by a swoop and scoot while driving a cab, that was the last time I was actually even really spoken to by a big-city cop. Our one cop says "Hi!" and waves when he passes, though, so if that counts, about a week ago.



33)  Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? Why in the hell would I want to do that?



34)  How do you like your drinks? Loaded with alcohol.



35)  Do you like hot sauce? HAHAHAHAHAHA. I peel fresh habaneros and eat them raw. Hot sauce is my bitch.



36)  Last time you took a shower? About nine hours ago.



37)  Who do you have a crush on?  I have no crush. My wife is my one true love.



38)  What is your mood? "OMGWTFLOLZ!!"



39)  Are you someones best friend? Anyone who counts me as a friend. There must be at least three of you by now.



40)  Are you rich? OMGWTF WE AER TEH BROEK!!1! LOLZ1! But, I have massive genitalia, so that makes up for it.



SO OK THEN ARE YOU SATISFIED CHRIS AND SHEILA?!?! I DID YER STEENKENG SURVEY!!!

...But TWO Blog Posts Today!

This one is straight-out opinion, with which you are free to disagree.



Be warned, though, that in the event of disagreement I will reply with a huge volley of facts and figures. The only reason I'm not trotting them out is because I'm currently exhausted and therefore lazy. (BAD blogger! BAD!!!)



So, ok.



Is there an actual REASON that so many people are retarded over power generation?



I'm referring to electrical power, of course. The overwhelming majority of our power generation, not just in the U. S., but globally, is oil-based.



For those of you "the sky is falling EVERYBODY PANIC" eco-warriors, you really ought to be hot on this.



Why, oh why, are we all so terrified of nuclear power?



When I ask this question, usually I get one of two responses. Either my victim says "because of the danger of meltdown," or, and sometimes ALSO, "nuclear waste."



Mmmmmkay.



First: meltdown has happened in the past. OOOOooooooo, scaaaaaary. However, the terror and hysteria over the half-life of radioactivity and its horrible legacy... has simply not been borne out by fact. Three Mile Island is not only inhabitable, but INHABITED, today. Those folks aren't scary Hills Have Eyes twitchy mutant freaks, either.



However, this isn't really relevant. If we had spent the intervening years developing reactor technology instead of spending time with our heads in the sand, our reactors would be safer, more efficient, cheaper, and smaller, by a huge margin, than they are today.



Maybe we'd be better off trying to solve safety issues than screaming that they exist and using them as an excuse not to use a proven technology.



Secondly, there's reactor waste.



This is a problem that utterly mystifies me.



Not as to how to solve it - I'll explain that in a second - but as to WHY IT'S A PROBLEM AT ALL.



Here's how to deal with nuclear waste, guys.



Take solid rocket boosters - cheap and easy to build, especially if they don't need a WHOLE lot of guidance. Or a huge railgun, but rockets would be easier.



Load your toxic OMGWTF reactor crap into them.



Shoot them bitches into the sun.



OMG! WTF! THERE ARE NO MOER TOXIC WAEST!!

If you are REALLY WORRIED that we might figure out how to recycle the stuff at some future day and be desperately in need of it, try shooting it at, say, Mars, or Venus, or even the Moon - somewhere where we can still go get it if we REALLY REALLY NEED IT but otherwise can safely ignore. None of the three places listed above HAVE ecosystems; no known forms of life exist on any of them. We can contaminate to our hearts' content.



Suddenly, you've reduced petrochemical pollution, averted the dangers of peak oil ("Everybody panic!!!!1!") and prevented radioactive leaks into our ground water.



At the same time, you've reduced our oil consumption by a huge amount, created much more stable, long-term generating capacity, and since nukes like the pebble-bed reactor can be clustered, done so much more cheaply than you might expect.



So why the hell aren't we using more?



The Governator - Arnold Schwartzenegger, for those of you not pop-culture literate - was presented with this problem when he took office in California. The eco-warriors had prevented any nukes for decades because of the "danger" and the radioactive waste, and yet demanded reduction in petrochemical pollution from conventional power stations. The result? Rolling blackouts. Waaaaaaay to go.



In California, the land of never coming to their senses, they still haven't come to their senses.



Hopefully we can manage it in the rest of the United States, at some point. Just think, if we close the oil-fired and coal-fired power plants in favor of nukes, prices at the pump will drop, because they will no longer be propped up by gigantic bulk purchases of oil by the power utilities.



Maybe it's time someone with some sense had a look at the problem, you think?

Not One...

There are a lot of charities vying for your attention come holiday time.



There are a lot of them that purport to be supporting our troops.



A lot of those, like the Red Cross, accept donations, and after paying their executives huge sums of money, dole out supplies to the troops, for which the troops are often charged.



Fuck all that.



There's a charity _I_ want to tell you about.



It's small. It's in fact run by two people, both of whom work for free. Their total "for the expenses of the charity" expenditures in six years has been the cost of a single laptop computer to track what they do.



In that six years, they've grown beyond their own wildest expectations. When LBEH started, it was just one guy, a gentleman named Ernie Stewart.



Ernie runs a frequently raunchy, always sarcastic, often hilarious website called EHOWA, short for Ernie's House Of Whoop-Ass.



I know; "oh, THIS sounds like a legitimate charity, and stuff." Oh ye of little faith.



Ernie is a veteran. Like many veterans, he remembered many holidays when he could have taken leave to go hang with his family, but was unable to go due to transportation expenses. Now, the military IN THEORY provides transportation to G.I.s for free, via MAC flights, but in reality those are what's called space-available transportation. Which means if there's no room, you're outta luck. What's worse, you can get stuck on the way BACK, and come in late - and that's against the UCMJ - you can get in serious hot water for it.



Not many G.I.s chance it. Especially with the ever-increasing stretch on the Military Airlift Command.



So, six years ago, Ernie decided that he had gotten enough emails from G.I.s complaining about being unable to take leave, and set up a Paypal account. He posted initially just within the forums of his own website, asking for donations to buy tickets for G.I.s stationed overseas to get home for the holidays.



Let's Bring 'Em Home was born.



Ernie got a wake-up call. The first time - December, 2001 - that he had the PP account open, he got $13,000 from his readers, and was suddenly totally out of his depth. Which brings us to the second member of LBEH - Kathryn Jensen. Kat works in the reservations department of Continental Airlines, and totally saved Ernie's bacon.



The second year, they had so many ticket requests that Kat took a week of vacation time to process them all; Kat and Ernie managed to produce 161 tickets for deployed military personnel.



They also got noticed, a little.



This year, they've received - so far - donations of $25,645.74, and 75,000 frequent flyer miles. They're accepting donations of cash or miles, and donations are tax-deductible.



They've already completed 45 tickets this year, and it's just starting the first week of December.



I can understand if you've never heard of them.



But if there's a charity that deserves our attention this year, guys, it's LBEH. ESPECIALLY all you Democrat "bring home our troops at any cost OMG" folks. You REALLY ought to be giving Ernie a hand.



I damn well will be.



[*Edited to add: I, clearly, am not the only one talking about this. This is good; more people need to be talking about it.*]

If This Is Where Political Correctness Takes Us, I'm In If It Ends In A Threesome

...And you will understand the title in juuuuuust a minute.






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\r\nWith me now?
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\r\n[*Edited to add: after viewing, Samara B. pointed out that at no point did either "legal team" mention possible pregnancy. LMFAO.*]